The Bounce

I bike to work like any other Euro puff around here and am lucky to say the ride takes me along a beautiful lake shaped water thing with swans and ducks and some heron. You know, nature shit. There's a popular running track beside the bike path and just like in Amsterdam, about 99% of the runners are ladies. Us men folk don't do running. And if we do, it sure as fuck ain't by some birdshit filled lake. We run through forests and strangers living rooms.

What's particularly interesting about the ladies and their running is that none of these typically young women are wearing a bra. I don't mean they aren't wearing a sports bra - I mean NO bra. It's like watching a tall person bounce a basketball, "boing, boing, boing." Is there some kind of tit bouncing competition I'm not aware of? Tits really can bounce, man. But won't that make the tits all messed up later? And doesn't that shit hurt?

I remain constantly amazed by these subtle cultural differences. Oh, and parking tickets here are $125 a crack.

123456789

Clinch your ass cheeks together, cuz today is THE day. Specifically, at 12:34 and 56 seconds, it will be 12:34:56 on the day 7/8/09. For those of you that have trouble sleeping, that means it will be 12:34:56 7/8/09.

The significance of this is vast, maybe ever worse than y2k. Paranoid math students will for one fleeting moment feel a sense of calm. Accountants will smile. Chaos I tells ya!

Martin Streek

Is it just me, or have a lot of famous people died in the past few weeks? Heart attacks, suicide, natural causes, cancer - the Grim Reaper has been a busy man. High season for obituary writers. Los Angeles funeral homes must be stacked to the roof. They used to say celebrity deaths came in threes. Thirty-threes maybe.

Martin Streek was one of my favorite radio guys. To think he got fired then killed himself is just terrible. Reading his suicide note posted online wasn't best idea I've had recently. He was great at what he did and behind Alan Cross and Andy Frost could have been considered the voice of the city.

On a lighter note, if you haven't seen fainting goats before, please watch the clip below. Fucking hilarious. I suppose there's something similar between these furry creatures and celebrities - something just ain't right with them.

Palin

How psyched am I that Palin quit her job in Alaska? She'll probably be on Fox News or have a radio show and give President a run in 0'12. Even with the on-the-job media training, she probably won't make it through the primaries with that block of cheese for a brain, but how fucking awesome would it be if she actually was the Republican candidate? Who will be her running mate, Cliff Clavin?

Anyway... working on a more comprehensive list of drinking spots. This one will have pithy comments for each place and the list will include less personal choices, so please allow time for me to brew this one up nice.

Tour de Finland

They had the annual "wife carrying" competition this weekend in Finland. Sounds like a joke, but it's a big deal up here. To everyone's dismay it was won by an Estonian couple for the eleventh consecutive year. Nothing pisses the Finn's off more. Seriously... The Estonian's have another year to insult Finnish men for being weak and their women for being overweight. They love that kind of humor here. Takes about four brain cells to appreciate and works nicely with a healthy cackle after the insult.

Estonian's obviously dominate this event and if you've ever met an Estonian you'll know why (practice). Come to think of it, if one had to describe the Estonian disposition (physical and mental), the words "wife carrying" make a strange amount of sense.

The Albion

A list of favorite drinking holes, by nature, is bound to have some notable omissions.
Please note that I have bent entirely to public will and remain prostrate until further notice.

10. Beef N' Bird, Sudbury
9. Sneaky Dee's Bar, Toronto
8. The Albion, Gravenhurst
7. La Cite, Apartment #308, Montreal
6. 367 Euclid Ave. front patio, Toronto
5. 149 Markham St. kitchen, Toronto
4. Barnzy Cottage, Kashe Lake
3. St. George Apartments, Toronto
2. Frederick Street dining room, Toronto
1. Biftek, Montreal

Canada

Happy Canada Day.

Hope you ass-wipes get snow.

If you celebrate Pride Day with ass-less chaps (it has been pointed out all chaps are inherently ass-less - thanks Larry Bort!) on Church Street, then how do you celebrate Canada Day? Blowing a Mountie?