Estonians

If aliens visit planet earth, I hope they land in Estonia. Those fuckers can drink anything in the universe into the ground and have nice enough women so that the aliens probably won't rush home and send their army to destroy us.

The Boys

Can someone explain to me the phenomenon of drinking. After a few days with my favorite crew, I'm left scratching my head. Why does sitting around a table and reducing ones capacity for thought feel so earth-shattering wonderful? Why does the collective numbing of minds create such revelry and feelings of brotherhood and unity? It doesn't make any sense. How did man discover this? Talk about a happy accident.

Deja Vu

Showed up to the airport for a flight a day early and have to repeat the same performance today. Not exactly the smartest guy, am I?

Art

Suggested to a friend of mine that we buy a painting together. Nothing major, but something by the Group of Seven that we could enjoy for a decade or two then sell and put towards a cottage or something cool like that. Well, I'm still living that one down - ridiculed nonstop for my European behavior patterns. My professional investment expert friend apparently is unfamiliar with the concept of buying anything other than consumable liquids, lap dances or small Indian boys.

Family

Back in the T-dot for a little family type situation. The whole Jewish side is here and we haven't been all together like this for ages. I'm kinda the outsider, which is convenient considering how idiosyncratic some people in the group are.

You

If you have a specific way you need to drink your coffee, there's no way we're friends and chances are I secretly fucking hate your guts.

Phil Hartman

It's a long weekend here in the Schmagen entitled "Ascension Day", celebrating Jesus' maneuver up to his heavenly throne type thing. The locals rejoice in this holy situation by drinking and smoking as if they too were heading directly to their great reward.

So many good clips of Phil Hartman to choose from, but this one from his later years on NEWS RADIO about quiting smoking has to be near the top...