Money

For the 2.7 people that visit this blog, today's theme is money. I miss money. You miss money. We miss money. It was fun having money. And it was fun spending money. You can buy all types of stuff with money - Wazzoo's, Gremlin's, word processor's, trampoline's, anything your little heart desires, money could buy.

But there's no more money. It's all gone. Finito. This clip from THE JERK is to remind all 3.2 of you what it feels like to have money.




And this music video is to give you something to hum while you sit at home eating Ramen and remember the days you used to complain about how much work sucked.

Stephen Wright

Haven't seen Stephen Wright in years. He might have moved. To Mars.

That Smile On Your Face

Saw a UFO last night. It was red. So for those of you keeping track, in the past 24 hours I've seen zero light bulbs (and been to a hundred stores) and one UFO (wasn't even trying).

Who the fuck am I kidding? Nobody's keeping track. You're all a bunch of assholes.

Zwarte Piet

Who the hell do I have to blow around here to buy a light bulb? I've been to 69 different stores in Copenhagen and not one sells 'em. If I wanted to buy a $23,000 toothpick, no problem. An autographed humpback whale disco shirt, absolutely. But a light bulb? Forget it. Asked a guy in a light fixture store and he looked at me like I had a contagious tumor. Things are different here, obviously, and I'm cool with that, but sometimes it's frustrating.

Same thing when in Amsterdam. Completely different approach. Take their Christmas celebration technique. Santa is actually really thin and called Father Christmas and super religious (not jolly). He rides a boat instead of a sleigh and has about a hundred midgets done up in black-face (called Zwarte Piet) doing his bidding. If that's not the most racist thing in the whole world, I don't know what is.

Walking Into A Bar Jokes

I've probably heard a million "walks into a bar..." jokes but can't remember one. Except this one.

John Belushi

If you're a comedian and you're alive, you're probably not any good. Cuz all the good ones are dead. Being a comedian is more dangerous than flying a plane in WW1 through a tunnel made out of knives.

This clip is from Belushi's first audition for SNL.

Barry Manilow

If you need a little boost to start the week, give this clip a twirl for about 45 seconds (entire video is 3 minutes). You'll thank me. And Barry.

Apparently Manilow wrote every hit TV commercial jingle in the 70's and 80's. What a talent. And didn't he have some kind of Burmese tiger training act in Vegas?

This clip is the Thai karaoke version for those of you men at home with the house to yourself and a little adventure in your soul.