Home - Part 2

I didn't realize it until being away from home around Christmas, but there's a whole shitload of unwritten customs that you need to be a local to know about. In fact, the whole Santa thing which we take for granted is entirely different over here. For one, Santa is not known to be a jolly person. He's actually a huge prick and hates kids.



Like most holidays, the whole thing is basically a booze-up. There's a lot of different customs I'm sure I'm missing and people seem to be doing some kind of secret handshake which looks pretty gay. I don't really care anymore. I'll do just about anything to fit in.

Home

I'm sure Vancouver will do a great job with the next Olympics. After all, if there's a center of culture, style and taste in the world, it has to be Western Canada.



It's just starting to settle in that I'm going to be out of Canada for Christmas and away from family and friends. Having a Jewish Dad and a Mom from Manitoba meant not having family to celebrate with. Yet, somehow we never suffered for Christmas joy. Close friends would take us in. Bonds would grow between friends that are normally reserved for relation. It's going to be strange and the distance has given me a real perspective on how much there is to be thankful for. In terms of friendship, in the words of the late, great Lou Gehrig, I'm the luckiest man in the world. Merry Christmas and I'll see you in 2009.

Michael Jackson

How do we know soap is doing all the things it says it can do? We put an extraordinary amount of trust in that little bar. Think about the last place you use the soap at the end of a shower, then think about the first place you use it next time around. That's trust.

This post is for notorious germaphobe Michael Jackson, but I couldn't find a good short clip of him that wasn't a Pepsi ad, so instead, because you've been good, you get a clip of Alan Iverson entitled "Practice".

Pavarotti

It's Friday morning and I'm feeling very European. I've got my tight slacks on and my heavy gold bracelet is all shined up and ready to go.

Chest hair primped? Check. Four espresso's? Check. Bisexuality? Double check.

Andy Kaufman

I've had a few complaints that the site is light on female content. Yes, it's true, I've focused more on men that are no longer alive or popular. I admit it, but "I Miss This Guy" sounds less patronizing than "I Miss This Person" and that's that.

In the name of mending fences, I propose a truce. A peace offering.

Below please find a clip prominently featuring a woman.

Canada's 1st World Status

Can somebody please explain to me how everything in Canada more mechanical than a pair of scissors broke at the exact same time today? I've never heard of a gondola pole breaking in two, but that doesn't really suggest proper thought was put into the situation. That's basically the one thing that should not happen on a gondola other than the wire turning into macaroni. And the excuse? Cold weather. Not sure that satisfies me, nor inspires confidence moving forward. Might want to rethink that Mr. Worst Publicist in the World.

But this is nothing compared to what happened on Bay Street today. The whole Stock Market just shut down. Computer error. They called it a day at around 1pm. Which is funny considering traders normally work such long hours.

How is this happening? Since when did Canada start behaving like Paraguay?

Christopher Walken

He's not dead, but haven't seen him in anything other than a cameo or bit roles in a while. Don't blame the guy, he lasted longer than most as the personification of evil. There was a while when if he was in the movie, you absolutely, 100% knew it was going to kick your ass around the theater for two, maybe three hours.