Klaus Kinski

I'll admit the top ten film list isn't perfect. Pulp Fiction should be higher and I regret not having Saving Private Ryan up there and maybe one of Rocco Sigfredi's earlier works. I stand by "Man On The Moon" as my 5th and 9th favorite movie. Next time, I'll put a star beside my jokes.*

But Fitzcaraldo...some movie? It took three years to shoot and originally starred Mick Jagger as a retard. The film was recast entirely after the lead actor nearly died and he was later replaced by Klaus Kinski (who makes Christian Bale seem like a teddy bear*). I used to play Fitzcaraldo in the background at parties on Euclid Street. So, please - allow me the eccentricity to include one of the strangest epics ever conceived.

Wildcat

There's plenty of talk these days about how SMS language like LOL, IMO etc. is ruining language. But, one could make the point language must evolve, for better or worse.

Here in the Schmagen, they've got their own use of English that is worthy of note. For example, the most common swearword is "butter pussy". They use it like North Americans use, "fuck". If you've annoyed someone, you've "pissed in their eye". A hangover is having, "carpenters".

So, there you go...

Andy Kaufman

Got a little drunk last night and wrote down my top ten favorite films. They are:

10) The Enigma Of Kasper Hauser / Pulp Fiction / I Heart Huckabees
9) Man On The Moon
8) The Mission
7) Rushmore
6) Happiness
5) Man On The Moon
4) Fitzcaraldo
3) Punch Drunk Love
2) Goodfella's
1) The Royal Tannenbaums

John Mcenroe

Wanna know what's strange about people that work in pizza restaurants here in Kobenhavn? They're actually Italian. Really.

How do you get a flat tire from a pizza? Good question. Glad you asked. Bought one of those fancy Italian pizza's with potatoes on it last night. They put lots of tzatziki on it and some spinach. Yum. That's what I get for ordering all willy-nilly off a Danish menu I can't translate. Put the pizza on the back of my bike and rode it home. The tzatziki dripped off the pizza, out the box, onto my gears and back tire, then overnight ate through my tire and made it flat.

I wanted to yell at someone, but who? In the finish, I realized, I could only be mad at myself. And Italians.

Maradona

Don't think fans of the two entirely different games called "football" are ever going to get along. Every time I'm in a bar over here, someone undoubtedly hears my accent and preaches to me about how American football is a homosexual sporting event. They reference the tight uniforms and fans that dress up in costume. Even though the arguement is completely rediculous I tend to reply by pointing out that all the macho fighting in the stands (in soccer) is perhaps over-compensating for something.

However, there's one gentlemen that transcends sexual preference and is appreciated all over the world. That's right, the soon to be coach of the Argentinian national football club - Maradona.

How is he not dead yet?

Pinata

Yesterday was a big festival in Denmark where everyone under the age of ten beats the crap out of a barrel that is supposed to have a black cat in it. The barrel just has a picture of a black cat and a fuckload of candy. The ritual is a million years old and used to be a way of warding off evil spirits. It's got something to do with Lent too.

Having never hit a pinata before, I wonder why North Americans are such safety conscious lame asses. It looks like a lot of fun.

Sean Penn

Try and think of the last time an actor portraying a gay activist didn't win the Oscar. If you want one of those little statues, it's not exactly rocket science.

Black Comedy

Considering there's about a dozen black people living in Copenhagen, the racial comedy isn't exactly at the same standard.

Joaquin Pheonix

Joaquin Pheonix is so screwed up, he might as well have nuclear rods stuck up his ass. How did one of the best actors in Hollywood become a bigger joke in the music business than Brittney Spears?



Here's a clip of Johnny Cash 2 in action:

Hackney

Looks like the cause of my intensely delusional fever and full body aches and pain is a series of bug bites which I've been too screwed up to notice from head to toe. It's a strange feeling, not unlike being knocked over the top rope...

North American Germs

Haven't felt this ill in forever. Fever. Cold. The whole shabang.

Was just in rural Sweden where they drink directly out of the lake, which might be why I feel I've got a school of red salmon growing in my guts. Got no immunity to these Euro germs - I'm like a snot-nosed kid again.

Swedish Chef

Been kicking it up in the Artic circle for the past week. Eaten more Reindeer than a pack of Wolves and even tasted a drink made from Beaver and some Bear sausage. The Bear tasted okay, but it just didn't feel right.

Sorry

Sorry, I'm in Germany for the Berlinale and then northern Sweden and won't post again until Monday, Feb. 16th.

I know, I suck.

John Lennon

I'm one of those that am pretty worried some nutcase is gonna whack Obama. Seems like all the good ones get assassinated - Ghandi, MLK, Kennedy x2, Lennon... If you're doing something really great in a new kind of way, you better keep your head up. However, if you're copying something really great and are a bunch of fuckwads like Oasis, you only have to worry about some guy in Toronto jumping you on stage (and the crowd cheering your broken leg).

Old Boys Club

There's no shortage of parables that accurately capture what a bunch of bums men can be and often are. But, if there's one gender based turn of phrase I take exception with it's, "if the world was ruled by women there would be no wars". If the world was ruled by women, there'd be nothing BUT wars. We'd be on World War one hundred and fourteen. The Cold War would have lasted three hundred years and killed half the planet.

Bad Day For Chicken and Women

Superbowl Sunday accounts for 20% of annual chicken wing consumption in the US and records the highest volume of domestic violence. If you're a female chicken, you're basically fucked.

Superbowl Ad:

Carson / McMahon

These two guys could make a cow laugh. Think they got married about 15 times between 'em - rock stars without guitars.