Bill

If it wasn't for singing inanimate objects, we wouldn't know jack about politics.

Man Strokes Woman

There's a hundred of these on youtube - pick your favorite "Man Strokes Woman":

Wes Anderson

Just the thought of watching a Wes Anderson film used to make me do the moonwalk. Now, I wouldn't cross the street to watch him evaporate. What happened?

London

Turns out the dogs name is London. I bet they treated him like crap, "oi govner - fetch us the land mine willya luv."

If they made this show today the dog would be a pug named Maurice with special talent for crapping kobe beef into it's face.

Kid-ly-ness

I miss learning to count.

TV Professionalism

I bust out of Naples, Florida tomorrow. Been seven days since I've seen a cloud or an African American. Not a lot to talk about with people in their 70's when the weather doesn't change.

Everyone here tailgates like they have some big important meeting to go to. As if.

This is Republican country and they don't mind telling you so. They need to relax. Like Arthur...

Steve Irwin

I've been stuck in Florida for the past week and the only internet access I can get down here is in one of the 9.8 million Starbucks they have every two blocks. The conversations I overhear make me want to tape dynamite to my ears and start smoking cigars.

There's a lot of crocodiles down here, but I don't see any of these posers getting tough with the beasts, unlike someone we all miss...

Slow Clap

Holy Bang Olufsen speakers do these Danes love soccer. You'd think that considering this place is basically perpendicular with the north pole they'd be into something more northern, like dog sled racing or hot potato. On TV, about three days before a game, they play interviews with hardcore fans and discuss why they're really looking forward to the game, in detail. These promo's all play "November Rain" in the background.

Soccer's cool and everything, but it's pretty simple. The coach doesn't do jack all game long. And the players run too much. They need to relax. How about a slow clap for these Euro soccer faces...

John Ritter

It's 4:30 in the afternoon here in Copenhagen, which means the sun has been down for about 3 hours. Not sure if the lack of sun is making me moody, but I'd give all the oatmeal in the world to watch an episode of Three's Company right about now.

Bowl Surfers

Most people don' t know that in south east Germany, they've got a different kind of toilet bowl altogether. Let's call the area the German Rim. They way they have it's like a platter, without any water, so after you make a deuce, it's just sitting right there on a flat surface to feast your eyes on. Why they like to look at their deucage so intimately is beyond me, but it might have something to do with how when you're peeing, it's standard practice in the German Rim to look at the penis of the guy next to you. They all do it.

This clip of a "bowl surfer" was suggested by Christopher...

Powdered Toast Man

This guy was the best. He flies ass first and can fix all your breakfast needs. If Hollywood had half a brain, they'd have made eight movies around PTM.

Bob and Doug MacKenzie

TV was 800 times better when it didn't takes itself too seriously.

Unknown Soldier

I don't know who the guy making an ass of himself behind the reporter is, but I miss him. He makes the most of his 15 seconds. We should all be so fortunate.

Corey Worthington's Famous Sunglasses

It's the first Friday night of November in Copenhagen, which means Tuborg introduces its "Christmas Beer" by giving it away for free in every bar across the city starting at 20:59.

In keeping with this time honored tradition I'll leave you until next week with a clip from Australia's most famous booze hound.

Have a good weekend.

Margaret Thatcher

If Hillary Clinton had MT's hair dresser, no way she loses to Obama.

Charlie Chaplin

Robert Downey Jr. was so much better on drugs I wish I could inject him in his sleep. His portrayal of Charlie Chaplin was possibly the best acting performance since the original screen legend picked up a pair of forks and two potatoes (or whatever the hell those things are).

Animal Trainers

I haven't seen an animal trainer on TV in forever.

Stanley Kubrick

I'm new at this blog thing, but this definitely feels like a good morning clip. It's got everything. You need about four minutes to watch it, but you'll probably feel much more alert and on the ball if you do. Consider it the sugar in your coffee.

Kubrick found an actual Sargent to play the badass here. Strange it doesn't happen more often. I'll let you guess why not (film directors are dumb).

Freddy Mercury

I'm gonna try to keep most of the clips around a minute long, but it's getting late here in Denmark and I may or may not have started into the sauce and I'm not really caring about too much right now.

Can you believe they abolished gay marriage in California? That's stupid. Gay guys are really good at lots of stuff. If they want to freaking time travel, let's make that happen. Who cares what anybody else does? Can you imagine Freddy Mercury's wedding? That would have been better than 9 Superbowls.

Peter Sellers

Apparently this guy was a complete douche in real life, but I couldn't care less about that. He could have torn out my endocrine system and I'd consider him a legend.

Old Time Hockey

Haven't seen a good hockey fight in years. The game has changed and it's not the same. It's like taking punches out of boxing, just a bunch of overpaid metrosexuals standing there.

Boris Yeltsin

John Candy