Main difference between life in North America and here in the old world has to be the amount of time spent on the shitter. Back home, you get a nice bowl and a nice seat and soft toilet paper with drawings embroidered and reading material and central heating in the winter to make sure the seat doesn't create a shock to your anus region. My Dad could sit in there for hours, reading and composing new theories. He'd come out two days later looking refreshed and completely satisfied.
Here, the seat is less than half the width than normal, so you can barely sit, let alone relax on the thing. If you shift one gram of weight, you could drop right in. The paper is so rough, if you're not careful it will cut your hand. There's no such things as fans in toilets, so they make sure there's a healthy draft coming in through the uninsulated window. And of course, there's basically no water in the bowl. I'm typically in and out in just over the amount of time it takes to piss.
It's not such a bad thing. With all this free time on my hands, I've taken up leatherworking, learned to fly, trained chickens to dance and started a blog.
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4 comments:
If you went over to the land of the rising sun - you would never come back. Heated seats (which once you've tried it - is like some form of nirvana), two different speeds of washing mechanisms (i.e. it's like a bidet but from the sides) and then a blower to blow dry your dirty bits region (chiefly anus). That description I just used (chiefly anus) was taken verbatim from the english translation of toilet operations from our hotel room in Kyoto (which was non-smoking but I would say conservatively has had 350,000 cigarettes smoked in said room). Love Japan.
i wonder which toilets NOOB likes?
I gotta tell ya, despite my wish for an ultra luxurious heated seat toilet with fountains and angels singing, I long for a well constructed outhouse lavishly decorated with spider webs. Where the sounds of strained morning flatulence echo across a glassy lake and drown out the sounds of buzzing flies and rodents of unusual size dwelling in the darkness below your wood splintering seat. Where reading material is limited to past issues of Readers Digest or weathered copies of Muskie Hunter and the dampness of the toilet paper creates a warm nivea feeling, always shredding slightly before an adequate wipe. Ahhhh....dare to dream the impossible dream.
Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!
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