Americans

Minimum five times a day I hear, "so, you're from the US?" Sometimes, I say yes and then do something really annoying, like complain about how my menu isn't made of gold. Other times, I say no - I'm from Australia and spit on the ground. When I do correct them and say Canada, I always get a strange look like it's some kind of scam I've got going. Sometimes I get a follow up question about if I speak French... you can see how stupid the whole thing is and why I'm getting sick of it.

Europeans are a conflicted bunch to begin with. They love American culture but hate Americans, which makes a strange kind of sense. It's like they've got a guilty crush on the United States, which is made even worse because the US doesn't have a fucking clue they exist. Until now...